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Nintendo Defector Leaks "Worst Smash Bros. Character Roster Ever"

Nintendo fans are up in arms about the latest Smash Bros. revelations emerging after a disgruntled former employee snapped remarkable images of the full cast - with some staggering DKU surprises.

Leaker Clifford Bollimore Boswell's attempted corporate sabotage has scandalised Nintendo fans the world over by revealing the remaining characters to in fact be the Acorn People from 1999's Conker's Pocket Tales.

URL: https://www.dkvine.com/site/news_images/acorn_smash_bros.jpg --- WIDTH: 90 --- HEIGHT: 55 --- CAPTION: Left to right: an acorn person, an acorn person, an acorn person, an acorn person, an acorn person, an acorn person, an acorn person, an acorn person, an acorn person, an acorn person.

Early reports of rioting and looting in major cities are yet to be confirmed but likely true.

Boswell, now working as a glass collector at the King's Pelican pub in Little Chestershire, Chestershire, left his Nintendo post under a cloud when he was caught stealing tea bags from the communal bag sack. Upon learning of his dismissal he immediately set about capturing all he could on his Nokia 7650 camera-phone before being forcibly ejected from the premises.

"It serves them right - Forest Wong is so blatantly the wrong size to be in a Smash Bros. game, it looks stupid. And Ted is totally OP." Boswell said last night (as part of his AMA on Reddit).

At an emergency press conference this morning, Nintendo spokesperson Bendy Prongs said of the incident, "we have never heard of Clifford Bollimore Boswell and anyone who says we have is lying".

More as this develops.


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