DK Vine Gallery - Banjo-Kazooie




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The Nintendo 64 logo's other senses developed much stronger to compensate for a lack of googly eyes.

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Photos from Kazooie's binge drinking days would later impede her political carrer.

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"Dingy will soon say Grunty's hot, or else he'll become my chamber pot!"

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"Relax, I saw this in a book once: we just let you sit there starving and pull you out when you're thin enough."

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"Picture of some guy I just met above my fireplace.  Not creepy at all."

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"Huh.  Never noticed that before."

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This would've worked better with a skateboard.

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Oh for pete's sake, IT'S RIGHT ABOVE YOU NIMRODS!

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Can't imagine those pancake fish are very filling.  Must be why they keep cooking Roysten.

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Not to be confused with "Punch in the Bawls":  Grabbed by the Ghoulies' unsucessful fruit-flavored energy drink tie-in.

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Vegetarianism kinda loses all merit on the Isle O' Hags.

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Sentient giant immobile hunks of rock.  A mercy killing, really.

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Please do, I'd really like to collect all the Stop 'n' Swop items again!

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*BUUUURRRRPP*

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Grunty fails to uh, learn from Jeff Goldblum.

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So, Grunty spared us another Candy Kong?

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You'll never get tired of seeing this, no sir.

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They stopped doing this after injesting all that gold caused Kazooie's bout with kidney failure.

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WHY ARE PUZZLES SO HARD?

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Not to be confused with the popular Latin dancing destination, Mambo Mountain.

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I have to collect more than one kind of item?  COLLECTATHON!  COLLECTATHON!  HISS! BOO!

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Not pictured: prolonging this cutscene for as long as possible.

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"Mumbo squatter on various mountains, but this one mine!"

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"HEY!  HEY YOU! HEEEEY! DON'T FALL!"

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So, why are we so hung up on Conker killing ONE baby dinosaur again?

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Conga throw fruit, not barrels.  Conga tear down unjust stereotype.

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RIP OTTO THE ORANGE 1996-1996

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I can't sing Springsteen too well either.

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Even the Jinjo can see Banjo's milking it.

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"YOU'RE NEXT.  GUH-HUH!"

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Which Switch Switches the Witch?

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You think we hide gold?  Juju find your anti-semetism appaling horrible bear.

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Spell go wrong, Mumbo not worry. Mumbo murder bear, have fun times with sexy witch lady.  Mumbo pragmatic.

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Fortunately, termites obtain their music DRM free.

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Empty like Banjo's bank account.  That's why his wallet stays in the front pocket.

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Alas, a constantly rotating object of solid gold proved too weighty for the soon evicerated Termite Banjo.

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"...you're joking, right?"

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It's like Funky Kong if you had to go inside him.

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Specially formulated to expholiate, revitalize, and pasturize!

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To hell with it, I'll get a crowbar.

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Damn, and the nearest toilet's not for another  6 worlds.

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So, witch feces is green?

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Not the Chest of Time, but a chest of rhyme.   Get it?  Haha.  Haha.  Haha-You're never getting into Smash Bros.

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Lousy littering fishermen, always leaving their notes on the pier.

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He was yellow when he walked down there.

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Did it on purpose, that Jinjo cunt.

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I can see your Nippers!

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They say if you hold the shell to your ear you'll hear the sound of a thousand crabs screaming in agony.

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Wow, that's impressive.  I mean, how did those eggs learn to float like that?

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Hillbillies aren't all about plugging holes, Leaky.

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THISPUZZLESUREISRATHERLAMEHOWWASGRUNTYTOKNOWBANJOCOULDSPELLHISOWNNAME

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Last time he listens to Ron Paul.

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It's so beautiful-aaaand I'm blind.

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Banjo games tackle a wide range of issues, from impossible standard of beauty and the importance of parental supervision to sexual harrassment.

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Pac-Man's had a lot of work done.

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Blubber's misfortune is a testament to how useless this thing is being unlit and way the hell up here.

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Banjo's short legs are presumably the result of his femers being displaced somewhere below his lungs.

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Apparently there is a power greater than X.

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Scenes featuring Lil' Lockup had to get creative after Crispen Glover refused to reprise his role.

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Snacker figured the N64 draw distance was as good a theft deterent as any bicycle lock.

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Yeah, I hang pictures from inside of my septic tank around the house too.  Great conversation starters.

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I so don't want to taste the rainbow.

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The yellow color of Banjo's shorts finally proves useful.

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"Pert as a mutant-crab well can be!"

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Gloop Glubs Globues In The Gloomy Grime

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"I'M GOING FOR A RIDE!"

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Honeycomb's in the other one, idiot.

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Eggs are good for your teeth.  Eggshells, not so much.

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The single best justification for a 3DS port.

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Bottles wasn't content with just being a figurative ulcer.

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THIS WAS MY FAVORITE PART I KNOW IT WAS YOURS TOO RIGHT?

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Gruntilda the Redeemer.

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This game thankfully not promoted with scratch and sniff cards.

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The Pirates of the Carribean ride really sucks if you leave the lights on.

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Ugh, Gator Golf?  Never liked that toy.

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The wading boots give Kazooie the useful ability to dislocate her feet bones.

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What could this possibly do?

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"Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!"

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Banjo really gave those toads a licking. Er, that is to say...

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Sure, the pig with the brick house feels smug now, but just wait untill they get the grenade eggs in Tooie.

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I WANT YOU INSIDE ME.

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Hey it's-URNGH!

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DK: "Man, I get this huge awesome island with a face carved into it and suddenly everyone jackass wants one."

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The wading is the hardest part.  Every day you get one more yard.

...wait, no the timer will run out by then, stupid.

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Let's see Diddy try cartwheeling into me now!

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Jumping was a bad idea after all of those grumblies.

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Huh, the New York sewer pipeline extends to Spiral Mountain.  Who knew?

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Actually Grunty's cleverly disguised smut catalog, but then his eyes can't read his OWN pages, can they?

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"Oh how that bear I would love to smother, defiling the ashes of Grunty's Grandmother!"

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A beehive with BEES?  What are they playing at?

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Oh boy, I got a Mumbo Token for Christmas!

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Just call her Dr. Kazoorkian.

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Much easier to climb before Nintendo made them remove his throbbing errection.

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Yeah, he looks like a website founder.

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Merry Christmas, now just 365 more days and you can use your gift!

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WE LOVE JESUS.

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Digging the glass shards out after the 25th is always a pain.

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Your fly is down.

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Wozza stands his ground.

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*doodleleedoo* *frererereerereree* *doodleleedoo* *frererereerereree* *doodooleedoo*

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Hahaha- aaaand they're all dead.

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I told you 'bout the walrus and me man.  You know that we're as close as can be man.

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The Fat and the Furriest.

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If he didn't keep honey lying around maybe he wouldn't have so much bear trouble.

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ACKNOWLEDGE THE THING BEHIND YOU.

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Always wear sneakers in the snow kids!

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That's it, we're converting to Buddhism.

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Dunno what's worse, flying through snowfall or constant cobwebs in the mouth and wings.

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Kazooie admonishes Banjo for attempting to beat the heat by removing his shorts.

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L.O.G. goes away for a few years and suddenly everyone's worshiping golden camels.

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Well I never!

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Help help, I'm so lost!

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Fun fact: the Sphinx's nose was lost not to Nepoleon-ordered cannonfire but to a buildup of pet dander.

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Eat it, Super Mario Bros. 3.

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He can practically taste the smooth menthol flavor of freedom.

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Converse lawsuit pending.

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Basis for the financially sucessful yet misleadingly titled hiest flick: "The Hand Job"

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Didn't pick this up?  You never will.  Take that, OCD.

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"Feed me blue ston-ah bugger, we already used that line."

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No cheese?  What a ripoff.

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Aw baby.

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You bastards.

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"This is my 'O' face.  Also, my regular face."

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This coffin hold the cremated remains of King Grittynuts, tragically killed when a large golden object thrown by a policical opponent became lodged in his skull.

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Just let me give these pieces a moment with the hair dryer first 'fore I ruin the card backing.

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Just gotta stay one night and Rich Uncle Lute's fortune is practically mine.

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"Coming to bed, Master Wayne?"

"No, Fook off."

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"Out of you my ghostly cronies will make mince-meat, but no way you're coming in without wiping your feet!"

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Ah yes, the classic Cob Cock holiday special in which Banjo briefly filled in for Father Cob Cock, then bedridden from a syphilitic fever.

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Some Grim Grinning Ghosts have crippling social anxiety.

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Try the vintage Donkey Kong on the back shelf.  I hear the taste is rather splendid.

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Get out of there Banjo, you saw what happened to Scatman Crothers!

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Be sure to link back to DKVine if you Tumblr Tumbler.

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Wow, that's a lot of kittens.

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What'd be the fun in just dancing on your grave?

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Guess Klungo's sermons really do bore you to death.

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Grunty wishes she'd spent less time installing a switch in the rafters and paid more attention to that bit about coming out from behind a boulder.

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It's the Mildly-Adequate Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

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Nothing in Mad Monster Mansion compares to the raw terror instilled by the poop voyeur Limbo.

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WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING?

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Set aside to be roasted along with the Beatles albums and Harry Potter books.

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There's always more vandalism in a gated community.

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"My eye!  I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!"

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Ranked 3rd among Fat Hag Monthy's list of top resort destinations, right after Broken Glass Beach and Heroin Needle Hill.

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Storing him near all that water is just asking for mildew.

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Formerly "Pristine Steel Bucket".

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Banjo hopes to later appear in PSAs being cleaned up by beautiful celebrities.

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"You gotta pay the troll toll if you want to get into that boy's hole."

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"Dammit, I stacked the cheese flavored one up there so that dolphin wouldn't eat him first!"

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Try not to think about how he needs oxygen too.

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Not to be confused with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode guest starring Maya Angelou: "I know why the caged jiggy sings".

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Eh, I'm stumped. go ask Hyle.

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Not a pedophile, but that calendar marking the days until her 18th birthday is still pretty icky.

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No.  Stop.  Banjo.  You have so much to live for.

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...Death-preserver?

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Not to be confused with Diddy's "boss" boombox from DKC2.

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YOU NEED A PARACHUTE, THAT'S A BACKPACK!

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Includes convienient window for the Grublins to point and laugh.

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Welcome to hell.

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Wait, the ship's permenantly docked with the anchor down and a door in front, why are we leaving the engine on?

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Get the strategy guide.

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It's a feather pillow. *rimshot*

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That Mumbo Token camped out all week for this.

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Right then, let's go kill Hitler.

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Mister Shamen, bring me a dream.  Make him the cutest that I've ever seen.

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Rare always took great pains to make sure their levels were thematically consistant and felt real, never resorting to stock video game conventions like unsupported floating platfo- goddammit.

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Clearly this switch adjusts the brightness settings on your monitor.

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They'll be here for every season.  Like a venereal disease.

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Banjo and his insect bretheren prepare to offer a Jinjo sacrifice to Kali.

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Go outside, NERD.

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"Please ignore the skeltal remains of a clearly murdered ape."

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Don't you have two huts around lava in the sequel?

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Honey Bear invades beehive for...gold.  Huh.

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Construction by Wile E. Coyote.

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Be thankful every season is hunting season in Click Clock Wood.

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And so the furious beak-bombing began.

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Buy a door, Mumbo.

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Mearly waited for an upswing in the price of gold.

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And so began Evil Acorn's star of darkness.

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*whispers* aww...

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The accompanying fisherman in a parka was thought to be in bad taste.

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He'll be off harassing wildlife and teasing geeks in no time, just like his mama.

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"Let's cover the last phase of a high-altitude level in ice!" the designers said as they fed on the tears of the innocent.

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And Spiral Mountain Schoolhouse is still open.  Goddammit.

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You bastards...you other bastards, I mean.

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Do the game in order and be rewarded with a bee's ass as you acend to the final jiggy.

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Klungo knew there'd be a reason to get this thing out of the closet eventually.

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Hey, as long as I'm not riding minecarts in circles.

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The answer is totally Cranky.  What?  It's a picture, you can't hear it!

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The stench of that backpack says "get the washing machine".

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Mmmm....house pet.

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In case you had any doubts that Banjo was totally shitfaced durring the final boss.

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Jeff Goldblum has not aged well.

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All those worlds and he still hasn't learned to start the puzzle from the outer pieces.

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Beyond Dingpot's use by his master as a recepticle for her feces and vomit, the worst part of working for Grunty is the lack of a dental plan.

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"Off the tower this bear now falls, but Grunty can't help but admire his massive balls!"

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"My broom thinks your flesh is quite yummy.  A nice change from the usual dust bunny."

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"My shots you try to...dodge and uh...block? This caption writer is a crock!"

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"This shield ensures I take no lumps, and helps hedgehogs make electric double-jumps."

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"Jinjos won't help you win the day, but how'd those statues get here anyway?"

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"For destroying my broom, bear and bird I'll mash, once I've pulled the splinters from out my snatch!"

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"That giant Jinjo wants to knock me flat?  My bloomers are in need of a laundromat!"

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"They haven't seen the last of this witch, though I know this fall will hurt like a bi-"  *necksnap*

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This screen sponsored by J.J Abrams.

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Mumbo pulls a George McFly.

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"Don't you cry, I'll be back again someday!"

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